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While I walk the halls at school
I see something I see everyday
Some couples hugging, kissing, and holding hands
Every time I see those things
I sigh as a little piece of my soul dies again
I already have love, but not physically with me
No one to kiss, no one to hug
And no one to hold hands with
I feel colder and colder each night
Sometimes I cry myself to sleep I'm so alone
I try to listen to my music, I try drawing
I try everything that makes me feel happy
But nothing seems to fill the empty void
They say that they promise they'll be in my arms
But I know that's an impossible wish to grant
And that they're just lying to make me feel better
Every time I hear them say, "we'll meet, i promise"
I feel like whispering quietly then yelling out loud,
"lies, lies, LIES!!"
As I walk the halls, I see love.
I'll never experience that kind of love..
I'll just sit here all alone and wait
until I feel Death's scythe sweep across my neck and my soul holds h
The date is March 16th, 2013
I turn 18, I'm an adult now
My family throws a birthday party for me
We have cake and ice cream
I get presents, cards, and hugs
The gifts here are nice, but they're not what I really want
The item I had written on a past list made last December,
I've wanted him by my side since last September
If he was with me, I would be complete
But since that's never going to happen,
This will be the first birthday night where I'll cry myself to sleep.
The day when we celebrate love
By giving cards, flowers, and sweets to their lovers
Or to your friends and family
I didn't care for this holiday back then
I thought it was just another day
But now, I have a reason to care
My true love is real special to me
I can't live without him
He loves me deeply and calls me his angel
I made a Valentine's Day card and a picture for him
But he's not here, and he won't ever be
I can never give these things to him
I can only pretend to
Back then, I didn't care for the holiday
But now, it's the most lonliest day of my life.
Another School Day...
I walk through the school door
I see him leaning against the wall
He was there waiting for me
I held his hand
He and I go to the same classes
He's always in the empty seat right next to me
When we're in the halls, we hold hands like couples do
If the bus seat I was sitting in was empty
He's sitting next to me
When we get off the bus, he's walking with me
When we make it home, he follows me to my room
We cuddle in bed, we kiss, we do more...
That's when I text him and ask him how his school day was.
I see the snow fall through my window
It makes me feel melancholy and empty
And that's when I think of him
I wonder how he's feeling or what he's doing
I wonder if he's still hates his parents, if he still fights with them
If he was fighting, I silently prayed that he would be alright.
I then think of what would happen if they crossed the line and he ran away
Would he be okay, or would he suffer?
I knew it was the angst talkin, but I still worry
I wonder if he's looking out a window, looking at the snow
I wonder if he was thinking of me
Is he thinking of me to escape all the suffering in his life or just to pass the time?
I don't mind if it was either one, as long as he was thinking of me
He keeps calling me these lovely names like 'angel' and 'Rose bud'
It makes me so happy that he sees me as his angel
I makes me want to hug and kiss him right there
But then...I realize he's not here
He'll never be here, ever...
The tears land on the windowsill.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More